it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
