I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
