Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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