the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
