Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize