I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
