It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
