I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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