we have pet lesbian snakes
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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