I want to walk on stilts...naked
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
