Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
3pm strippers are depressing
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
