he puts the penis in happiness.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
