God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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