I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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