i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Houston, we have a blender
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.