actually, I'm a sock model
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
