I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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