i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
