only you would photoshop your dick
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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