Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
