Did you just see the Batmobile???
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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