God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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