my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
