I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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