so explain again why im purple
no
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
