Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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