it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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