What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize