I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize