We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
