i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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