I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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