Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
