After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
