She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
