dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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