not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
