You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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