cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm sobbing to NWA
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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