I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
