Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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