rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
