Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
