Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
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I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
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Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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