Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Drake has all the answers
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
