you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
