Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
