we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize