then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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