GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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