Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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