there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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