I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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