Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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