um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize