He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize