based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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