The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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