Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.