Non-Jews are for practice
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season