What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
