Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Anal.

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(845): View more from New York

Stop trying to talk to my friends!!

(1-845): View more from New York

then get some ugly ones...

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(845): View more from New York

all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.

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29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.

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(909): View more from California

Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man

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(515): View more from Iowa

So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....

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