Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?