You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
