i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
